you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
