bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
