cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
