Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
