Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
