This girl is more easily done than said...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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