RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
