lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
