I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
