we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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