Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
