There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
