K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't deserve a penis
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
