omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
