Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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