Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
