he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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