what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
