dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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