i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
me + whiskey = a bad person
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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