i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think your dad took our porno
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
