I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
