the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
