Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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