Fuck appropriateness.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
