I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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