Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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