Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
