:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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