I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
