I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
