There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
