Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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