he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Everyone says I win the strip club
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
