His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
