if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
