What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
