Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
