All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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