i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize