there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
MIDGETS
????
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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