So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
