Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
