so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize