Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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