i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
PANTIES FOUND
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
