can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
