If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
