PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
