Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
