I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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