im drinking this country out of the recession.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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