WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
