i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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