you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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