Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
