someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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