My first STD was from a foam party
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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