I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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