you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
either way he was missing a nipple.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
