I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
