When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
