I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Randomize
