You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
