why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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